All about Marriages, Relationship, Families and Homes
Monday, July 21, 2014
THANK GOD FOR MARRIAGE
Thank God for MARRIAGE. It is God's own way of continuing His creation and populating the world with LEGITIMATE children.The truth is that there is a more glorious MARRIAGE that you need to IDENTIFY with - THE CHURCH and CHRIST. JESUS CHRIST is coming SOON to RAPTURE the CHURCH (HIS BRIDE) that HE purchased with His BLOOD. The BIG QUESTION is ARE YOU IN THE NUMBER? ARE YOUR BORN AGAIN? The DOOR is still open, YOU can be Saved today if only you'll REPENT!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
THE MAN IN THE MARRIAGE
It is important to
properly define the man’s prerequisite for marriage. Apart from his physical masculinity and maturity,
there are few other things that he must possess in character and disposition.
Have
ye not read that He which made them in the beginning made them male and
female? And said, for this cause shall a
man leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be
one flesh? Wherefore, they are no more
twain, but one flesh. What therefore God
hath joined together let no man put asunder (Matthew 19:4-6).
From the above
scripture, the man in marriage ought to be:
A
man indeed
By this statement, I
mean, the man must be:
Ø Physically healthy: So
many times, some quarrels that linger for a long time without explanation and often
defy solutions are traceable to the health condition of the man. He may be sterile
or impotent and covers his sickly state with the garment of holiness; or it is likely
that the woman also has at one time lost something personal to her and her matrimony
and never mentioned it to the husband before the joining. Therefore, after the joining, things begin to
get disjointed as the truth gets uncovered.
Ø Mentally sound: Often
times, the irrational way in which some men treat their wives suggests some measure
of mental imbalance. If a man is mentally sound he would have known that the
woman he has married is not an angel in the first place and can make mistakes.
Mental soundness also accounts for right sense of judgement.
Ø Financially capable:
I am sure you know that a man may get married to the right woman - the perfect
will of God for him; but because of financial imbalances and lack of wisdom to
manage the ugly situation he may not last in the marriage. There is an extent
to which women’s patience can be stretched. If stretched beyond its elasticity
limit it can break. If that happens it will rather be too bad for a couple
trying to fulfil their marriage vows toward one another.
Ø A man of decision: A
man indeed should be able to take decisions by himself and stand by it. Some
men are so attached to the aprons of their parents that they can never make up
their minds on anything except their father or mother tells them what to do,
how to do it and possibly where and when to do it. Such people can not be
addressed as men. No matter how physically old they may be, properly speaking,
by their attitudes and behaviours, they are boys, not men.
Ready
to leave his father and mother
Leaving father and
mother is a mark of maturity. But not every man can leave father and mother and
stand alone for too long. To leave father and mother therefore means:
Ø The ability to handle
situations maturely without necessarily involving third parties such as; your
parents and in-laws.
Ø That is the ability to
distinguish yourself in mature ways such that your parents know their bounds
and limits in your home: Your father and mother ought to be able to respect
your matrimonial home and give your wife her privacy and opportunity to fulfil
her role and calling in your life.
Ø It has to do with
the ability to stop using words that give the impression to your wife that you
are missing your parents so much so that you prefer to be with them rather than
being with your wife.
Ø It means leaving
without thinking of ever forgetting any- thing behind that is more important in
your life than your wife in your father’s house. Let the whole world know that
next to God and salvation in your life is your wife and home. Then treat her as Christ treats the
Church.
Ø This does not
necessarily mean that you will not visit your parents or care for them again,
but it means that you will regulate your visitation and maximize your care for them.
So that you would not be painting a picture that your home is having some
problems and you need their help.
He
must be ready to cleave to his wife
It is one thing to
leave father and mother, but it is yet another thing to be able to cleave to your
wife. So, a man must not only leave
father and mother, but he must be willing to cleave to his wife.
To cleave to your wife means to:
Ø Join himself to his
wife as one body with her in all things.
Ø Agree with her in
principles, ideas, decision making, planning, execution of projects and other
special areas as they surface in the marriage relationship.
Ø Spend adequate time
with your wife alone at home and everywhere possible.
Ø Let her feel your
presence around her as her husband.
Ø Your warmth and your
masculinity must be employed in her defence, not to harm her.
Willingness to be one with her
Let everybody around
you know that as a married man you now have responsibilities and you are accountable
both to God and to your wife. Let them know by your action that you are no
longer a man alone. In other words, to be with your wife entails:
Ø Keeping yourself to
her alone: This speaks of affection. You must withdraw your affection from
every other woman and pour all your affection on your wife without any
reservations that can lead to lewdness and keep yourself to your wife alone.
Ø Keeping no secrets:
As much as possible, every secret agenda must be exposed by way of seeking her
opinion and counsel. Freely discuss your personal affairs with her in the
spirit of unity. Let her know that you have nothing to hide from her knowledge.
Ø Not to take her unawares:
Discern her state of mind and know when to tell her things you consider too
heavy for her to bear. It may be dangerous to break news, such as the demise of
her loved one to her while she is about to give birth without the proper
application of knowledge, which is wisdom. It might have some adverse
psychological effect on her.
Ø Make yourself known
to her: She should be able to so know about you to the point that she can
represent you anywhere even when you are dead. You must never hide your gains
or loses from her. That way she stands to defend you any time there is need to
do so. As a woman she would also want to play safe if she is not fully in the
know. Her response would reveal her innocence about your businesses and transactions
whenever she is asked of what she knows about your life.
Ø Avoid hide and seek
game: The ultimate thing here is to be truly transparent to your wife. Avoid
playing hide and seek in the family union, it does not show that you are one
with your wife. Hide and seek can easily separated the best of friends/couples
Ø Show concern and
give attention: Your wife deserves your concern and attention much more than
any human being living on the face of the earth. For a better understanding of this subject
matter, let me attempt to use the acronym for husband to explain the
responsibilities, concerns and attention of the man in marriage:
H- Honesty
U- Understanding
S- Sharing
B- Basic
Supply
A- Availability
N- Nice
D- Devotion
Every letter
represents a duty and shall be treated as such in the second part of this book hereunder.
Monday, July 14, 2014
WAYS TO ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE IN THE FACE OF SERIOUS OPPOSITION
Determination to work it out – Not to walk out of it.
Willingness to take the blame – Play the fool any
way.
Get committed to the love ethics – Not easily
provoked.
Intensify your love – Give more than you expect.
Trust your partner – Look away from his or her
faults.
Be positive about your spouse – positive confession.
Know your partner by nature – help him or her to
succeed.
Know that your partner is not an angel – Encourage him
or her when getting discouraged.
Be prayerful – Prayer changes things.
Appreciate your spouse – Praise your spouse when he
or she does well in anything.
Saturday, July 12, 2014
KNOWING AND DOING GOD'S WILL IN MARRIAGE
Why marriage is called an institution? Not all relationships fall under this category. Knowing and doing the will of God defines marriage as the foundation stone for any civilization, culture and country. Population of people makes a village, town and city. Families are the legal and traditional way of making babies.
Babies
are cared for in a married environment by a husband and wife called parents.
The moment they bring a biological child out of their sexual love they become
parents. These families define a political map like counties, states, countries
and continents.
Politics
and government are necessary to regulate, protect and provide for these
families. This is how the necessity for kings, rulers and leaders came about.
So without any family founded on marriage grounds, the children will be
illegitimate and parentless. Knowing and doing the will of God will teach you
this as a ground rule for human survival.
We
are trying to define new meanings for family these days. It will not work well.
Externally you can live any way you want and get away with it from the society.
You can wiggle your way through all the legal implications. But when you face
your inner man your conscience is troubled with an unsettled inner soul.
When
God created human race, the first thing he provides to the man is another human
with a different sexual entity. He called it female. God in his image is male
and female. We are created in the image of God. So marriage brings them into
one entity. That is how a family functions in marriage. One flesh and one unit
to which the children run to.
Marriage
is the only relationship where two people learn Knowing and doing the will of
God together. No other relationship can provide this oneness. It is also the
most difficult to practice. It requires sacrifice and adjustments from both
parties. One alone cannot run it. Unless both unite and work together with a
common purpose and goal it will fail.
Knowing
and doing the will of God is put to ultimate test in a marriage. Obedience to
basic principles laid down in the bible like love your neighbor starts in
marriage. Sometimes the most difficult person to love and forgive is your
spouse.
This
is a serious issue that people are not willing to face up to. If you can
perfectly learn to love your spouse and forgive every time you find a fault,
you have perfected love. This is how you are going to learn to love others
including your children.
Knowing
and doing the will of God is not a theory and sermon title. It is the only code
by which a human being can experience and express the purpose of creation.
Why
marriage is called an institution? Not all relationships fall under this
category. Knowing and doing the will of God defines marriage as the foundation
stone for any civilization, culture and country. Population of people makes a
village, town and city. Families are the legal and traditional way of making
babies.
Babies
are cared for in a married environment by a husband and wife called parents.
The moment they bring a biological child out of their sexual love they become
parents. These families define a political map like counties, states, countries
and continents.
Politics
and government are necessary to regulate, protect and provide for these
families. This is how the necessity for kings, rulers and leaders came about.
So without any family founded on marriage grounds, the children will be
illegitimate and parentless. Knowing and doing the will of God will teach you
this as a ground rule for human survival.
We
are trying to define new meanings for family these days. It will not work well.
Externally you can live any way you want and get away with it from the society.
You can wiggle your way through all the legal implications. But when you face
your inner man your conscience is troubled with an unsettled inner soul.
When
God created human race, the first thing he provides to the man is another human
with a different sexual entity. He called it female. God in his image is male
and female. We are created in the image of God. So marriage brings them into
one entity. That is how a family functions in marriage. One flesh and one unit
to which the children run to.
Marriage
is the only relationship where two people learn Knowing and doing the will of
God together. No other relationship can provide this oneness. It is also the
most difficult to practice. It requires sacrifice and adjustments from both
parties. One alone cannot run it. Unless both unite and work together with a
common purpose and goal it will fail.
Knowing
and doing the will of God is put to ultimate test in a marriage. Obedience to
basic principles laid down in the bible like love your neighbor starts in
marriage. Sometimes the most difficult person to love and forgive is your
spouse.
This
is a serious issue that people are not willing to face up to. If you can
perfectly learn to love your spouse and forgive every time you find a fault,
you have perfected love. This is how you are going to learn to love others
including your children.
Knowing
and doing the will of God is not a theory and sermon title. It is the only code
by which a human being can experience and express the purpose of creation.
This article was contributed by
Robert R. Fenn
Friday, July 11, 2014
FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
Galatians
5:22-23 (NIV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such
things there is no law.
Have
you ever been around someone that seems to ooze the fruit of the spirit? You
can see love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, and self-control and wonder how they do it?
Do
you sometimes hear the same message or scripture from several sources within a
short period of time? I have. Lately it's been the message of the "fruit
of the spirit." When you hear something repeatedly, God's trying to tell
you something.
Last
night I talked to someone on the phone I had never met. She was a Christian
author and excited about Jesus. I could hear her smile through the phone. Her
energy was infectious and contagious. God was obviously present in her life.
What does she have that I don't have? Even more important; how can I get that
in my life?
I
am very big on positive affirmations, meditating on the scriptures, prayer and
all the positive thinking but it wasn't working for me. I was allowing fear to
operate in my life. I had a spirit of confusion and fear that was dominating my
optimism; my vision of the work God has blessed me with. I was acting like one
of those Christians that I label as "being baptized in lemon juice."
I was going around looking pitiful, acting pitiful and guess what? I was a
self-fulfilling prophesy. I was pitiful.
2
Timothy 1:7 (Amplified Bible) 7For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of
cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a
spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline
and self-control.
When
I sat down to read my Bible this morning I had planned on going back to
Leviticus. I am working on a plan to get through the Bible in one year and I
was going to pick up where I left off yesterday. I read parts from the Old and
New Testament daily. God had other plans for me. I decided, or I should say He
decided, I would read the book of Galatians.
I
had a highlighting day. Do you do that? My Bible is so marked up from
scriptures that leap out at me. Galatians 5:22-23 was already highlighted in my
Bible but I felt compelled to go back and read it over and over again.
The
last one listed in the fruits of the spirit is self-control. We need to be in
control of our thoughts and the things that we speak, all the time. The moment
we speak defeat or show doubt, Satan is right there to feed you more of the
same. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy your hopes, dreams, and
confidence. The devil is a liar. But, we have the one thing that Satan must bow
down to and that's the word of God.
1
John 4:4 (NIV) 4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them,
because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
If
we operate in the spirit of love, God's word says that it covers over a
multitude of sin. That's a tough thing to do when someone has been ugly to you
isn't it? But, when we are unforgiving, hold a grudge, or act unloving to
someone, it's like drinking poison yourself and expecting someone else to die.
You are the one experiencing the toxic effects of that unloving spirit. To love
other people and treat them in a loving manner just plain feels good doesn't
it? You know in your heart of hearts that love is pleasing to God.
1
Peter 4:8 (NIV) 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a
multitude of sins.
When
we operate in the fruit of love, we experience joy. We see reasons to feel
joyful all around us. Joy is being content with the life you are leading. Joy
is being happy with what you do have rather than what you don't have.
Peace
or calmness knows that God is in control. God is large and in charge. No amount
of worrying is going to change what you are going through. Be at peace knowing
that God is right there with you. It might not always work out the way we want
it to but if you surrender your burden to your Heavenly Father it will always
work out for the best.
1
Peter 5:7 (NIV) 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Here
is one of our favorite words; patience. Am I the only one that struggles with
that one? My intuition says probably not. God is not always on the same time
table as us but let God be God. He knows what He's doing. If you treat people
with kindness, you are most likely treated the same way. What you want to
manifest most in your life is what you should be giving away freely.
Luke
6:38 (NLT) 38If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in
full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running
over. Whatever measure you use in giving--large or small--it will be used to
measure what is given back to you."
In
church, you most often hear the scripture above when it is time to collect the
offering. I think we would be mistaken to think that Jesus was only referring
to tithing. In fact, if you read the verse previous to this one, Jesus also
talks about judgment, condemnation and forgiveness. So, whatever you give, you
will also receive. Give kindness and it will be returned to you. Let your walk
and talk always be filled with kindness.
Goodness
is a conscious choice to do the right thing. It's more of an attitude of making
the right choice that will benefit others more than benefit ourselves. The more
we allow for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, the more goodness becomes
evident in our every day life. The ultimate act of goodness is when Jesus died
on the cross for you and me. Jesus did not need to die for himself; he had no
sin in his life. In God's goodness he sent Jesus Christ to be an example for us.
In Jesus' goodness he died on the cross for us so that we may have eternal
life. There was no benefit for Jesus in dying. It was all for us.
Faithfulness
is something or someone that you can count on with no doubt at all in your mind
or senses. When I think about why I love God so much it all comes down to God's
faithfulness to me. Even though He owes me nothing I can count on Him for
everything. He will NEVER leave me or forsake me. I don't know of anyone that I
can trust that much. The word "trust" is grabbing me as I write it.
That's how we develop faithfulness; by trust.
Hebrews
11:1 (NIV) Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we
do not see.
Being
meek in spirit is gentleness or a gentle spirit. Rather than pushing ourselves
on others we draw others to us by a gentle spirit. It's not an "in your
face" attitude but one that makes us look at the person and notice their
calmness; their quiet confidence. Something about them puts us at peace.
Do
not become weary in doing good, for in proper time we will reap a harvest if we
do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good for all
people (Gal 6:9:10 paraphrased).
The article was contributed by Phyllis Stewart
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